cleaning out my closet

Date March 9, 2010

There’s at least one area in almost everyone’s life that could stand to be decluttered. Am I right? For me it’s ideas. I chase, catch and store way too many bright, shiny ideas – more than I’ll ever have a chance to see to fruition in a couple of lifetimes. That bulging trunk of possibilities can distract and confuse me – cause me to lose focus and “leave undone those things which I ought to have done.”

All of our material and mental excess is about so much more than the objects themselves. In my case I know I need to unpack that mental suitcase, but to be honest, sometimes the thought of it causes anxiety. Yet I know that letting go leaves space for more to come. That’s true of our relationship to everything in the physical and the spiritual world.

We are just around the corner from the spring of a new decade. I’ve heard (and thought myself) so often lately that people feel this will be their best year yet. There’s something about this year that makes us feel hope – especially after the tumultuous years since the millennium began. What I believe is that we’re invited to pay more attention to our lives and well being in this decade. We’re prompted in many ways to identify with our unique gifts and focus on our purpose. Like hitting the “Refresh” button on your computer – it’s time to clean house – and renew your energy and your spirit.

When you look at your relationship to things —and their energy—do they bring you joy? Do they distract or burden you? Whenever you have “off purpose” items in your life or on your agenda – that is, people, places and things that don’t enhance or advance you – your life becomes complicated, confusing and chaotic.

Life is an ever flowing, ever moving energy exchange. You’ll experience the fullest spectrum of power and choice when you simplify your world so you can focus on what ignites your personal energy.

I believe we have to keep it as simple, practical and authentic as possible. Eat real food that gives you real energy and sustains your life. Move. Clear out your head.

Once you get that far, you’ll create motivation to declutter other areas of your life. This is my theme for 2010 – healthy, wealthy and organized. It means taking responsibility and taking ACTion™ to get out of your personal “clutter zone” and into the clean, clear air of possibility and power.

Acceptance: of yourself and who you are. No stories, excuses, blame or guilt. Saying adios to choices that don’t support self-care, self-value, and self-worth. Be willing to embrace the AUTHENTIC you – or find her at any cost. Nothing is more important.

Challenge and commit: What are your core beliefs and how do they help or hinder you? Are your attitudes holding you back? Are they negative, critical or judgmental? Get clear on exactly how you might be sabotaging yourself – then commit to change – now. It sounds overly simple, I know – but that’s the absolute cornerstone of my philosophy – simplicity and practicality. You can’t deliver what you came to deliver if you don’t make up your mind that you can and you will. Movement begets more movement. Start doing it even when you feel funky and when you get beyond it, you’ll realize you aren’t in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.

Take baby steps: This is the way out of the woods once and for all. Little changes over time make maximum transformation possible. Quick fixes don’t work. Rapid transformation that lasts is impossible. Change happens one step at a time. Sudden change causes regression in most cases. Our bodies and minds have a powerful ability to adapt to change when it comes at us in measured amounts.

Clutter is a mirror of who we are and how we feel at a particular point in our lives. It steals your time, your energy, and your self esteem. When you look around at all the things left undone – it isn’t long before you can feel the motivation and energy draining out of you. On the other hand, when you’re organized and in control – it fuels your energy. You’ll make time for the other important things (like eating clean and working out!) because you feel you can.

Decluttering is a process that evolves as you evolve. And it doesn’t matter where you start – just start somewhere – and make room for your life!

Does your to do list reflect your passion?

Date March 1, 2010

Getting organized should help you increase your energy and fuel your motivation to do what really “juices” you. One of the best places to start is feeling good about your purpose – the dreams that compel (and propel) you out of bed in the morning.

But it’s almost impossible to find energy and motivation to go after those dreams if you’re stressed out and distracted with life’s busyness. When your calendar and To Do list overflow with activities that aren’t personally satisfying you quickly end up feeling disconnected from your own life.

Grab a piece of paper and divide it down the middle into 2 columns. The first column will contain all the things you HAVE to do in a day. The second column contains everything you’d LIKE to do but can’t for whatever reason – not enough time, money, energy or other resources.

I think you’ll quickly see why it’s a challenge to find your purpose. For example – you’d like to exercise regularly but you can’t seem to find the time, so it gets put on the back burner. The clutter in your home is driving you to distraction but you don’t have the energy to deal with it so it keeps piling up. All the unfinished, unattended to activities drain your energy and sap your motivation! It’s hard to move forward when you can’t find a way to do more of what you WANT to do and less of what you HAVE to do.

So the question that will align you with your purpose is this: How can I start doing moreof what I want if I lack the time, energy, and motivation to do it? The only way you’ll start to feel alive and on top of your “destiny” is to pursue your dream with a vengeance.

I believe there are 3 big reasons that can keep you stuck, stressed and disconnected from your inner energy and confidence:

1. You don’t believe you have choices. You think your life is the way it is and nothing you do or don’t do can change it.

2. You don’t believe you’ve got the power to change or get what you want.

3. You don’t think you deserve what you want.

Don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t allowed yourself the time to really think about those beliefs and how they affect you. Most of the time we’re so busy just surviving the day – there’s no time to focus on preparing for a more exciting, rewarding future.

Your purpose is your dream – the picture you see in your mind that gives you a clear and challenging vision of where you want to be. When you find it, you’ll ignite your passion. You’ve heard it before – passion and purpose. They’re soul sisters and they always travel together.

Next week, I’ll talk about how to go after your purpose with purpose! :)

Rise and shine – literally

Date March 1, 2010

It’s not quite so dark in the morning lately, and with the advent of a little more daylight, getting up a little earlier each day is becoming easier for me. And the benefits are tremendous – it allows me precious time for myself before the phone calls and emails start rolling in and the day picks up its pace.
Running a business means there’s always something that needs to be done. Giving yourself the gift of a little “me” time in the morning can get your day off to a great start.
Early to rise isn’t easy for a lot of us, but you can train yourself to do it. I started slowly – by setting my alarm 10 minutes ahead of my regular wake up time. I gave myself time to get used to it for a week before I moved the time a little further ahead. It was well worth it. Here’s why:

Time for Yourself. In the hours before others in your house are awake, you’ll have undisturbed time to work on yourself. Enjoy a workout, make yourself a cup of coffee and read the paper, make a good breakfast for you and your family, or use the time to prepare for your day.

Get Ready for the World. I like to tackle small things in the morning like answering emails and sorting through my bills. It is refreshing to start the day feeling accomplished with a shortened list of to-dos. Taking care of these little tasks also allows me breathing room to deal with unexpected projects that might come up in the day.

Organize the Day. Between my family and career, I have a lot of tasks to accomplish each day. Having peaceful time in the morning to plan my day allows me to prioritize my work so I can be as effective as possible without feeling overly stressed or rushed.

Do less, get more? Really?

Date February 10, 2010

You heard right. DO LESS!

We live in an instant microwave minute world – multi tasking, driving while talking on your phone, drinking coffee and putting on makeup at the same time.

To achieve more, you have to do less.
We make it hard on ourselves by trying to change too much at one time. We try to makeover our bodies – new diet, fitness program – our finances, our relationships and our careers. Each of those changes is probably made up of 10-20 smaller behaviors that have to change. We set ourselves up to fail.

My experience working as a health coach and professional organizer (and lots of research too!) shows that people can typically change only one behavior at a time.

I’ll repeat. Change works best when it’s done in baby steps. One at a time.

As humans, we’re impatient. We want everything now – or better yet, yesterday. That sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? NO!!!!!
You see, doing more is the problem – especially when it comes to health. I’ve seen clients make massive changes across the board, only to collapse in a heap of exhaustion and frustration when life intervenes (as it inevitably does) and they fall off the horse.

Rapid, sweeping change doesn’t last. Accept the fact that you can only change one behavior at a time, and you will succeed. Try to change more than one thing at a time, and you will fail. It’s really that simple.

Like the Lotus – we keep blooming from the bottom up

Date February 10, 2010

lotus flowerThe lotus flower has a strong symbolic meaning to all of us who overcome challenges of all kinds. Nothing can stop it from blooming. Its remarkable beauty isn’t easily destroyed by abuse neglect – because it is resilient. It bounces back. Even though the lotus flower closes up and sinks underwater at night, it rises again in the morning.
The lotus starts as a small flower down at the bottom of a pond and slowly grows and towards the surface – moving toward the light. Once it reaches the surface of the water, it begins to blossom and turns into a beautiful flower.

The lotus flower is a symbol for courage, purity, and awakening. It mirrors our journey toward healing and achieving your fullest potential. Like the lotus flower, we who have been “at the bottom of the pond” are not victims of our circumstances. We can triumph over our challenges and live a fuller, more satisfying life.

“The lotus flower blooms out of the murky depths,
the murkier the pond,
the more beautiful the lotus flower blooms.”

Does your calendar reflect your passion?

Date February 10, 2010

You might not realize it but your calendar can affect your health. If your schedule’s bursting with appointments and commitments that don’t reflect what’s really important to you – you’re operating from a weak state and probably doing the most of what you do the worst. Staying engaged in busyness keeps you from staying connected to your purpose – that divine thingy that’s unique to you. Renewal begins when you pause – on purpose – and recommit to doing the most what you do best.

If your calendar doesn’t reflect your passion – what little change can you make right now to redirect your energies?

Try tracking your current record of rest. Are you taking the time to rejuvenate your body and spirit?

7 Signs You Might be Playing Too Small. . .

Date January 19, 2010

Whether it’s business or personal – if you’re playing too small – and doing things the same way and getting the same results. . . you ultimately don’t get what you want. And at midlife you don’t have any more time to waste!

Here are 7 signs that you may be playing too small in midlife:
1. You’ve chosen to settle for a life without passionate love.
2. You’re not happy in your profession or your business.
3. You haven’t taken a real 7+ day vacation in over 3 years.
4. You can’t sleep or all you want to do is sleep.
5. Everybody but you dictates your schedule and your time. There’s never any ME time.
6. Your energy, body, mind, and your environment are cluttered and overweight.
7. You’re thinking you just have to accept where you are and the people in your life reinforce those negative beliefs and are holding you back from your best life.

It’s the difference between the rhinestone and the diamond. They both sparkle on the outside but one will crack under the least bit of pressure while the other is not only beautiful but strong. What’s stopping you from taking control of your happiness and manifest the type of “mid-lifestyle” you really want?

Would you like to manifest more of things like. . .
love, support
passion, pleasure
happiness, joy
peace
energy, radiant good health
a healthy weight and sexy confidence that you define
purpose, spirituality
encouragement and inspiration

Maybe it takes 40 or 50 years to grow into an amazing woman. But you know what? You’re now in the most incredible time of your life. You are not only CREDIBLE – you’re INCREDIBLE. Your second act is a powerful one – here’s why:

You can become a doctor or lawyer and still have time left to practice.
You can fall in love like a teenager without having to grow up.
You’ve lived long enough to know what you like and what you don’t.
You can say what you want and others will respect your opinion.
You can still have fun doing things you like doing.
You can try new things without being self conscious of what others think.
At 40 and beyond, you now have the wisdom, the experiences, the strength, the confidence to be who YOU want to be!

It’s time you design your life around YOU. What are you waiting for?

Here are my 4 Keys to a Sassy, Seasoned MidLife with Passion:
1. Rekindle your love relationships and identify what’s TRULY important to you. Make a decision to eliminate what isn’t in line with your real goals of what you want in life.
2. Stop letting your business run you and learn how to transform your business and your personal life into one that puts YOU as the foc l point and feeds your passion and purpose.
3. Create a simple healthy lifestyle that combines clean eating, exercise, relaxation and a supportive environment that energizes and fuels you.
4. Find friends, peers and mentors who inspire, motivate and support you no matter what.

You can totally transform your life if you make the decision not to settle anymore. If not you – who? And if not now – when? It’s easier than you think, but you have to take action! Midlife IS your best life, but only if you decide it will be.

Sometimes the hardest part is just getting started. If you want some guidance on how to jumpstart making you the FOCAL POINT and transforming your body, mind and spirit into the diamond you know you are, then I suggest you hire a coach, mentor or enter into a program where you’ll get some one-on-one coaching. It simply helps you focus faster, stay motivated and keep your eyes firmly on the prize – YOU.

Gluten for Punishment

Date January 19, 2010

woman eating cereal (1)You’ve probably seen gluten free food aisles springing up in grocery stores everywhere. It’s the newest food fad: eating gluten free.

Gluten is a protein found in wheat, rye, and barley. Recently it has become the latest diet devil. Possibly that’s because there are 3 million Americans with celiac disease – a genetic disorder in which the immune system attacks your small intestine when you eat gluten. Not only does this cause problems with digestion (gas, bloating, diarrhea and constipation) it disrupts nutrient absorption which frequently leads to a variety of other conditions such as rashes, arthritis and depression.

Celiac disease can occur at any age; untreated it quadruples the risk for early death. The condition is becoming more and more common: research by the may Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, says celiac disease is four and a half times more common today that it was 50 years ago.

The majority of people with celiac disease don’t realize they have it. The only way to treat it is with a gluten free diet. Nothing with gluten in it – EVER.

That said, why is the gluten-free market, which has grown 28% annually since 2004 such a booming business? Possibly because it’s now recognized as the next big food thing. Converts suggest that eating gluten free is the answer to everything from excess weight to autoimmune disorders.

So if you don’t suffer from celiac disease, why would you benefit from cutting back on gluten? Well, for one thing, if you have a mild gluten intolerance, it might be contributing to systemic inflammation which could worsen other disorders due to general immune function impairment. Mild gluten intolerance is very common.

If you decide you’d like to limit gluten, don’t run out and purchase all the gluten free alternatives. These are often made with refined flours, which are low in fiber and other nutrients. Also, don’t go on a gluten free diet just to lose weight. There’s no evidence to support weight release with eating gluten free. Most packaged gluten free products are high in calories. Many people who’ve been on a long term gluten-free diet have put on as much as 30 pounds of weight.

Why natural eating isn’t natural to us

Date January 12, 2010

woman eating junk food

 

 

 

The challenge of healthy eating is that thousands of years after the invention of farming, we still want eating to come “naturally.”  After all, it’s just eating – shouldn’t it be the most instinctive thing we do?  Even newborn babies know how to eat.  Yet for most of us, trying to figure out how to build a healthy diet is about as easy as building a space shuttle blindfolded. 

I think the basic problem is the fact that we haven’t eaten “naturally” since our ancestors lived in caves.  And with so much processed food and diet and nutrition hype bombarding us daily we’re not going to be able to walk back in time to that existence any time soon.  We have to think our way to clean and healthy eating  and quite frankly, we need to relax about it.   I’m a huge fan of “intuitive” or “mindful” eating (I’ve written several articles on it) which is our body’s ability to settle in at it’s natural weight given the proper adjustment.   I also think we need to return to a more relaxed, fun approach to healthy eating – one that centers on the European way of reaffirming food as a social interaction and something to be enjoyed and treasured.

With the revival of farmer’s markets, environmental awareness, our love affair with chefs and cooking shows and the movement away from the black and white rules about carbs and fats – we can move toward a positive relationship with food – and that’s a sure fire way to “waist” management.

Make peace with a few extra pounds

Date December 11, 2009

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If we’re normal, wisdom and a few extra pounds comes with age.  The fact is that as we age, our bodies lose muscle and gain fat – after age 40 women on average lose 1/3 to ½ a pound of muscle each year while gaining about that amount in body fat (according to Tufts Unversity John Hancock Center for Physical Activity and Nutrition).  That doesn’t mean you can’t keep those changes at bay with a healthy CLEAN diet and exercise.  You can – but it won’t be the same game you played in your 20’s or 30’s. 

The first step is to accept that your top priority has to be YOU – keeping your health, energy, and life in balance.  The second step is to accept that neither you as a person or your health is defined by a number on the scale.  You don’t measure how tall you are every day do you?  So don’t be a slave to the scale! 

The one measurement you DO want to manage – since it’s the one that will tell you if your weight is endangering your life – is “waist management.”  The waist-hip ratio is a good indicator of abdominal fat, which has the potential to lead to things like high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes and heart disease.  You can calculate your waist-hip ratio by measuring the circumference of the waist just above the navel and divide by the hip circumference (measure around the hip at the widest part).  There’s a long term study out there of 44,600 female nurses that discovered having a waist-hip ratio of less than .88 was more important than weight for predicting health problems. 

The third step is to take baby steps toward healthy lifestyle changes.  If there’s one mindset I wish I could change – especially for women – it’s the all or nothing thinking about weight release.  Severely cutting back on calories or going on diets that promise quick weight loss and that are way different from the way your normally eat just set you up for failure.  First, if your body is deprived of food it will go into starvation mode and hang on to body mass – thereby slowing your metabolism.  

It boils down to changing your relationship with food.  LOSE the diet mentality – all it does is create guilt, frustration, and fear of food. 

The other thing you have to do to defeat the weight gain with age thing is to move – a lot.  Exercise is a known stress reducer too!  The key is consistency – a little bit every day is better than a big chunk a couple of times a month.  Combine at least 30 minutes of cardio at least 4 times a week with 30 minutes of resistance training at least twice a week. 

Go easy on yourself.  We all have days when we don’t get to exercise or we eat the dreaded cheeseburger.  Don’t punish yourself – you’re human! 

But the most important change you can make – in my opinion – is to rethink the way you see yourself.  Make looking in the mirror a positive experience!  Write down 5-10 positive things about yourself and tape them to the bathroom mirror.  Say them aloud while you look at yourself.  Or find a photo of yourself that makes you pleased about how you look and put that up as a reminder of where you want to go.  Most of us struggle with body image and looks when we enter midlife, but we need to be our own biggest fan.  Once we see how gorgeous, strong and confident we are, everyone else will too!